by crystal lundy
I knew I was different, always felt different. Did not get along with ''normal'' people, did not want to, did not understand some people. And I had dreams of being in different places, worlds, people I have never seen before made me feel so welcomed and they knew me like I was family. I felt like family.
I have pictures of them. I was searching online one day '' lundy'' family and I saw them, while I was listing too joy. But I did not feel like other people. I know I'm different and I know and feel it deep deep deep down I'm different. Not like many people humans.
My name is Crystal and I'm 19. I live in Florida by the way. I remember crying so deep one time just saying I wanna go home.I had no idea where home was but I knew it was not here.I used to be a very, very depressed person.I had a bit of anger problem, but deeeeep down I really am a loving person and nice. I have a lot of problems because I'm not like any one.
I'm not like anyone I'm around and they do not understand me. I just want to be around people who totally deep down understand me. If you do please for god sake text me ? so we can talk 8134749531 . Thank you so much!
I just wanted to also say that I see colors around people, and I feel what people feel . I understand what they go though.I feel like I know there hole life story, how people feel soon as I look at them. And I can feel there anger or emotions... (sorry bad at spelling but I just feel it).
I just want to save the world, and help. I'm not a bad person,I'm just different and see and hear and feel stronger then normally people would. I will hear people talking without them actually even opening there mouth.
I never understand anger, or why people get sad. I just want to hug people.I have a very high feeling about my self.I love myself, I think my mind can fix anything on me. I feel like I could fix any one with my eyes just even looking at them.
I just want to understand someone who's older then me or anyone who understand more. Just please text me, because I just want to understand with someone else and have someone there so I do not feel so alone anymore.It's nice to have someone to talk to and who deep down really understands what I'm going though, so I do not have to got though it alone.I look at walls some times. I feel like I could go through it and I can look at the sky for hours.Some times I feel like I was two different people. I still do some times. Once I told to my dad I would take a little girls cancer from her so she can live her life, so she could take my life and live it.I want to take every ones pain and anger from them so they can be free. Like I just feel like I can handle it.I want to take it away from the world.
The world is a beautiful place, and it does not need such anger or sad and hurt. I just feel like I have been sent down from above or from some where. I sometimes feel like an angel, some times feel like a lion , some times feel like other people.
I used to feel like I could take peoples souls and put it in mine. Not as in a bad thing but like just felt it so deep down in me. And I feel like a monkey some times. And I felt like gods twin, lol felt like gods mother once. And I felt like a lot of other things I just cant remember.
But sometimes I feel like I'm the mother to everyone and I just want to LOVE sooo bad and want to hug and care for everyone. I would take my life for anyone , because just how I am deep down. I feel like we all have little angels inside of us and when we get better it will grow and then when we get so good it will get so big that it grows and breaks though our skin and that's how we will get to heaven as in flying with our big wings to heaven .
I have a big interent(?) in arms like dogs and cats, and bugs. I love bugs and cats and dogs. They're alive just like us, that's just what I think they have a soul too right? Lol... But idk. my dad is somehow like me. I just have an open mind and I think way out the book. I do not like people telling me if I'm so called sick or what I should do or what I should take. When I die I do not want people to be sad. I want them to have a party and be happy... and I just want to be happy and love and care and everyone to be peaceful and happy.
Everything makes sense sooner or later , no matter what we go through, it will make sense maybe does not now, but it will. I think way out the box about everything kind of like a scientist would, but I hate doctors. They always trying to tell you something. Doctors just want money and churches just want money... there sad people they think that's what makes them happy. So they take. But if they did not tell us we would not be sick ... just really think about it. Money makes the world sick. Lets all live off the earth okay?
On the outside I'm very negative because of me letting people get to me.But on the inside I'm smart and beautiful and nice and caring. They may have got me on the outside but not in the inside. But I'm working on the outside again , to live a positive life. I am writing too much, lolololol. If you wanna talk more just text me guys,3[ 8134749531.